I am on my flight to Denver and I have time to think. I have figured out my purpose. I am the person everyone can depend on. The one that will always be there. The one that will drop whatever … Continue reading
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Spring Break done right
Today is the first day of Spring Break! WAHOO!!!!!! Begonia is settled in for the week, Mom is home, and I am off. I leave for Colorado tomorrow, but I am driving down to San Diego today to spend some … Continue reading
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Mom is home!
After two months of being in a rehab facility my mom is finally home! She is thrilled and I am so happy for her! I helped her pack all of belongings (four bags full!) and waited for my dad to … Continue reading
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One is the loneliest number
I used to love that I could almost anything by myself. I felt empowered. I felt so strong. Now I just feel sad. I feel like a cliché. A middle-aged woman all by myself with a cat. I really want … Continue reading
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Daylight Savings is dumb
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And today’s post will be a multitude of random thoughts. 1. I am not a fan of daylight savings. I do not understand the point anymore. California is thinking of getting rid of it and I am proud of my … Continue reading
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The Bottle Tree Ranch
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My dad and I were supposed to go to Death Valley this weekend, but the plans fell through. I was very disappointed. I even cried. I wanted to spend the whole weekend in bed and I knew that would not … Continue reading
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State of mind today
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This is a post I have wanted to write for awhile. There are some feelings and ideas that have been bouncing around in my head. I have hesitated to share these feelings because I am always whining. Also I know … Continue reading
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I need to change that color!
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A few weeks ago I finally hung some stuff on my bedroom wall. I have only been in this house for eleven years and I finally got around to hanging stuff. The ballerina I have had forever. It has hung … Continue reading
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I’m exhausted
I am so tired.
So drained.
Losing hope that it will get better soon.
My mom is still in the hospital. My dad is still a problem. My personal life is still DOA.
I feel alone. I feel hopeless.
I am running around doing everything and I keep trying to tell myself that I am doing the right thing.
Things will get better.
Treat others and though you wish to be treated.
I try to live by that quote.
So why am I always alone? Why am I always the one doing everything? Why do people depend on me and I have only me to depend on?
Yes I am whining. Yes I am feeling sorry for myself.
And I do not feel bad. This is how I feel.
I am justified.
I know nothing will change. Tomorrow will come and I will continue to live my life.
Alone.
Don’t worry! I continue to say is all okay, because at the end of the day that is what people want to hear.
Fake it to you make it!
Posted in On the island, Samantha Speaks, Single Woman's Problems, State of Mind
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Spectacular ending!
Tomorrow I have to go back to work. In a way I am very happy. I like my daily routine and feeling like I have accomplished something at the end of the day. I am not happy because my hectic … Continue reading
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