That does not sound good.
It isn’t.
I see the hole of depression.
Everything going on with my family, my job, my friends, my lack of a dating life…. Need I go on?
Today was very hard. My dad is still up to no good. My mom is not get better. My weekend was spent all alone. I feel like my life is meant to be alone. That is big man’s plan.
So I obsess about this. When my parents die what will do? I have no family once they die. I know that that is years away, but it will come sooner than we think. What will I do then?
Stress about some thing new! Sorry, bad attempt at humor.
Everyone says focus on the positive.
Today I took myself for a walk. I did not stuff my face all day long as a lounged in front of the TV. I planted some lavender. I finished my laundry. I stopped eating dinner when I was full and not when my plate was clean. I realized that my cat is awesome.
I have so much confidence and positivity for everyone. Why can’t I have that for myself?
The hole is in eyesight and for me it is always looming nearby. Some days it is behind me and some days I am trying not to fall in.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Now I am going to throw out my pride and watch Naked and Afraid.
Absolutely no shame.
Suck it dignity!!!!!
